Artist: suns

Tony McCarroll is flogging the drumkit he used when he was in Oasis, and Gordon is happy to help : He told me: "I've never taken advantage of the Oasis connections over the years. There have been a lot of offers and opportunities but I just never felt the need to. "I've been living a really normal life, nothing much has been going on. "I've been looking into DJing with Clint Boon. "I heard a rumour Wayne Rooney was interested in buying the drum kit and thought that might be better [...]

Not often the scribbling of Tom Newton Dunn, The Sun's political editor, makes it onto Gordon's pages, but his story today that Mick Jagger is going to help Cameron promote Britain . Of course, this is at an event overseas; Jagger and The Rolling Stones being famously averse to spending too long in Britain lest they actually pay their fair share of tax. It's at Davos, which will give Mick a chance to visit his money at the same time. This, apparently, is a "publicity coup": The Rolling Stones legend will [...]

The news that Seal is to divorce from Heidi Klum is like journalistic viagra to Gordon this morning. Why? Because it allows him to wheel out the tabloid's favourite old trope : [Other divorcing celebs] may have valid reasons but neither can compete with a national rivalry that's sparked two world wars and two semi-final defeats on penalties. Seal said: "We certainly have differences of opinion. I mean, she's German and I'm English, so if I said we didn't have differences of opinion, no one would believe that." I suppose the grinding out of world [...]

Someone off the X Factor is going to release a cover of Seven Nation Army. In the real world, this need bother nobody save for those who read the singles charts down past position 148; in Gordon's mind, though, it is the latest stage in some sort of fundamentalist conflict : X FACTOR finalists always find a way to annoy indie fans – and now Marcus Collins is having a go. They always do? I suppose by releasing poor quality records and hanging around on television for years, they annoy everyone, but that's not specifically [...]

Really, Gordon? 2012, and you still think there's mileage in giggling about Facebook's use of 'poke' ? Your chance to poke Wayne Rooney's face Elsewhere in The Sun, a large swathe of the paper is handed over to Simon Cowell to try and relaunch his leaky World Of New Faces. It has all the grace and attraction of those panicked Tesco full-page adverts that popped up in the press this week - and has the same sense of an organisation that never expected to fail flapping about trying to cope with suddenly slamming [...]

There's some tatty pap snaps of Florence out of the machine in Brazil on Gordon's pages today , which means Gordon has to do one of his say-what-you-see bits of text underneath to try and explain why what might look to the outside world of a seedy invasion of the privacy of a woman in a bikini is actually a proper news story: She took a right soaking playing underneath this waterfall in Brazil. It's such an exotic setting you're half expecting[...] Yes? What, Gordon, is the acme of exoticism? What is the most exotic [...]

Another one of those days when Gordon's lead story is, erm, transcribing Jay-Z lyrics. Apparently Mr Z has realised that throwing the word "bitch" around isn't on : The ode, which is doing the rounds in the US, includes the lines: "Before I got in the game, made a change and got rich/I didn't think hard about using the word bitch/I rapped, I flipped it, I sold it, I lived it/Now with my daughter in this world I curse those that give it." It continues: "I never realised while on the fast track that I'd [...]

There's no explanation in Gordon Smart's story about why Mike Tyson is supposedly going to take The Wanted on a tour round Las Vegas. Beyond this: After hearing that the band were stopping off at Sin City during their trip to the States, the ex-heavyweight boxing champion got in touch with their management and asked if he could be the one to show them around. That clearly isn't true, is it? I struggle to believe that Tyson flicks through We [heart] Pop to find out which third-string boybands are going to be in town in order [...]

There's nothing wrong with the idea of a tribute concert from Amy Winehouse. There's nothing wrong with staging it to raise money for the uh, you know, that charity thing. But surely people have learned by now that the way to destroy an event is to oversell it before it's organised? THE Amy Winehouse tribute concert later this year is taking shape. [...] Mitch is talking to TV companies about airing the show and is considering making it pay-per-view, so it makes as much cash as possible. [A source said] "Big [...]

One of the poorer decisions the Brits organisers have made in recent years - besides 'let's do it next year, yes? With the same shortlists?' - was locking in James Corden as host for years and years and years. To be fair, they are sticking with the pledge and bringing him back to die painfully on ITV for a couple of hours. Which is fascinating, given how the rest of the music industry will dump contracts at the first sniff of underperformance. It's good news for Gordon, though, who - you'll recall - clutched his sides [...]

At Leveson this week, Gordon explained to the judge the extraordinary lengths his team go to in order to make sure not a word of untruth appears on their pages. And yet if you hit the Lady GaGa joins darts team , it gives a hollow ring. At best, this seems to be 'GaGa throws a couple of darts' which has been baked up into a wider story, with the inevitable photoshop slapping of GaGa's head onto a dart player's body and insane conclusions: It's a shame she wasn't over at Christmas [...]

Here's something that Leveson might like to ponder. Earlier this week Sun editor Dominic Mohan and showbiz editor Gordon Smart appeared before the judge, insisting that theirs was an ethical, sound newspaper. Today, there's rather a lot about Robin Gibb's health , matters which would appear to be private and without any real public interest justification. Richard White, chief showbiz writer, has apparently spoken to a "close family pal" - one of those "close" "pals" who yaks to the newspapers about a sick friend; we all have those, right? Obviously, if this was [...]

It's a miracle there's anything on Bizarre today - not only because Gordon was busy explaining what a tight ship he runs over at the Leveson Enquiry yesterday, but because we now know the hours and hours and hours put into making sure all the stories are true and accurate. Who knows what lengths the Smarties went to in order to check whether the lyrics to a Jay-Z song were true , for example? Still, some sort of kudos to the subs for sneaking a reference to Smart's day in court into an otherwise pointless bit [...]

Gordon Smart has been giving "evidence" to the Leveson enquiry this morning; his written submission to the enquiry has just been published. He seems to print an awful lot of photos of celebrity's kids for someone who takes the PCC code so seriously. This bit is interesting, where Gordon talks about the use of "sources": Without further corroboration, that story would not be published. This happens very occaSionally, For example, one member of my staff had a great contact linked to a female pop star. She was reluctant to reveal his/her identity [...]

Gordon's second-biggest story this morning is him looking a photo of Kelly Rowland and speculating. What does he speculate? KELLY Rowland's stylist must have used a whole can of hairspray to make her barnet stay in place for this shot. It's really hard coming up with stories these days, huh, Gord? -- Visit No Rock & Roll Fun to comment, complain and kvetch

There's not really much in the Bizarre pages today, which makes it all the more obvious just how badly Gordon relies on the ITV press office feeding him filler is - there's three non-stories about Dancing On Ice, and an awful bit on the launch of a post-show programme for Take Me Out . Yes, Take Me Out: ESSEX lothario Mark Wright is on a self-imposed dating ban to keep him out of the grasp of girls on his new Take Me Out show. This is listed as a "TV exclusive by Lucy Connolly" - I suppose [...]

Gordon Smart pulls a concerned face as Sarah Harding gives him an exclusive interview about her addiction to pills and booze. If there's any doubt that this is an interview dictated by a flipchart with the words "Comeback: Media management" at the top, you just have to count off the clichés as they roll by: She said: "I've been to hell and back.[...] My drinking was out of control [...] I was drinking to deal with my emotions after the split." and so on and so on. You could probably write most of her [...]

Gordon brings news of an attempt by Paris Hilton to relaunch her music career with a house album. House, Paris? She said: "I have a huge passion for house music. It always has been my passion. I just haven't been able to focus on it, because I have been doing reality TV for so long now. Yeah, I could see how you'd have to do a bit of TV, in order to get a few quid behind you before launching your house career. Oddly, though, IMDB suggests she made eight episodes of [...]

Let's leave Gordon's desk for a while, and look instead over at the Sun's health pages. They have news about a public education campaign : THE Bee Gees hit Stayin' Alive is at the heart of a new campaign launched today — to save the lives of cardiac arrest victims. [...] It says that pumping the chest at between 110 and 120 beats per minute — the same rate as the 1978 hit — is more effective than a poor breath resuscitation attempt. The charity is launching the TV campaign, backed by the UK Resuscitation [...]