• Before, Sir David Attenborough was best known (by me only, I think) as the dude who narrated Planet Earth on the BBC version of the series, and also on the DVD box set. Pretty impressive, right? Well, he's just thrown his entire career down the drain (whatever-the-hell else it included) because he went on record as saying that Yetis are real. The fucking moron thinks the Yeti actually exists. His proof? "Very convincing footprints have been found at 19,000ft. No one does that for a joke." Uh...I think he's senile. Now I can't take anything he says [...]
• Jack says his plan is working. Apparently he's training deer to jump through windows to disrupt local classrooms. This, of course, answers several questions I've been wondering about Jack lately. Chiefly, they are "What the hell is Jack doing all day when he's not at home?" and "Where the hell is Jack all day when he's supposed to be working?" The answers, of course, are "training deer to jump through windows," and "the weirder New Jersey counties, where shit like this is big news". [ story ] • In other NJ-related news, a genius driver rigged his [...]
Nothing beats a day at the beach when one would ordinarily be hovering over a cash register trying to smile at dozens of expectant customers. I awoke early this morning, because it was 100 degrees in my room last night, and I needed to sleep with the shades open in order to best utilize the large box fan wedged into the frame of my bedroom window. I stopped at Yellow Mart to buy a bottle of soda, and since I wasn't wearing my glasses (I'm growing tired of being one of the bespectacled) I accidentally grabbed a Diet Coke instead [...]
My online girlfriend is hotter than your online girlfriend Here's a shocker, "Web dating can be disappointing" . No, this isn't the latest article penned by KABC's Rick Romero , it's a story that was published this morning by News.com.au, which I imagine is the Australian equivalent of (insert name of shitty American newswire). Lucky for us, we're learning about this phenomenon now , and not a decade ago, when it might have actually been relevant. It begins, "Internet daters beware -- witty emails don't lead to love." After that, well, isn't the [...]
Today is my last day in New Jersey, again. Who knows how long it will be before I return. It took almost exactly one year -- from April 27th, 2007 to April 30th, 2008 -- to warrant a first visit. Supposedly (if you believe what I've promised my parents and friends) it will not take another year for me to find my way home. We'll just have to wait and see. I'm taking today "off" in order to relax and prepare myself for the return voyage. I awoke early this morning and drove to Denville to pick up [...]
Swan Fungus
SABRINA JOHNSTON + TIEFSCHWARTZ
American Idol Finalists: where are they now?
Check Out: Curren$y feat. Big K.R.I.T. & Wiz Khalifa – “Jef Life”
