Blog: YuppiePunk | Adventures in Middlebrow

Dear "Laguna Beach," At first we weren't sure about you. You didn't look and act like other reality shows, but we eventually warmed to your charms anyway. And as much as we hate to admit it, we've really grown to like you. You are a guilty pleasure of the mammoth kind. In fact, the mere writing of this letter is incredibly liberating, for it is with these words that we can finally purge ourselves of the passion we've been storing up. It's been very hard to keep our love for you contained over the past few [...]

You usually hear about musicians who to act, but what about musicians who want to paint? We were surprised to discover that more than a handful of rock stars had actually tried their hand at art, but not so surprised to find out that most of 'em weren't very good. But don't take our word for it, see for yourself (click the thumbnail for a larger image): Artist: David Bowie Title: [...]

This game's easy. Just decide whether each fact is related to Orlando Bloom , Orlando Jones or Tony Orlando . Got it? Good, let's play (answers at the bottom): 1. Which Orlando's nickname is Orli? 2. Which Orlando has a Christmas show booked at the Mohigan Sun casino? 3. Which Orlando is best known for his role as the original 7-Up spokesperson? 4. Which Orlando was named one of People magazine's "Hottest Bachelors" in 2004? 5. [...]

Criss Angel is an illusionist with a new show on A&E called " Mindfreak ." It's the first weekly TV magic series in over 40 years. Go figure. Angel is sort of Bam Margera crossed with Trent Reznor , and the tricks showcased on the first couple episodes of his show are a lot like those of fellow illusionist David Blaine . Like Blaine, Angel has taken his magic to the street, yo. We assume that's because its way more fun to freak out innocent bystanders than it is paying customers. [...]

With "Batman Begins," Christian Bale appears poised to usurp Michael Keaton as the definitive big screen Batman. What can we say, we like our Batmen like we like our Ashlee Simpson hair color, dark. To that end, the franchise's first installment was right on target, but until now we've not had a terrifically dark leading man beneath the bat suit. Christian Bale is just right as Bruce Wayne. By flipping back the clock the beginning of the series, Bale and director Christoper Nolan are free to explore Batty's darkness. Bale proved he could play dark in the underrated "American Psycho," [...]

Ah 27, we remember it as if it were yesterday. We were young, under employed, and had a full head of hair. But what is it about that age that causes so many rock stars to not live through it? Perhaps it's that rock & roll has long preached that excess was best. Maybe by the time we hit 27 our bodies simply can't take the heat like they used to and conk out like an old jalopy. Was Def Leppard right when they philosophized that it was better to burn out than fade away? Or maybe it's just some [...]

These guys may just have the weirdest job in the world. They are the performers/creators of a show called " Puppetry of the Penis ." You've probably heard of it. The concept is simple: Twist, stretch, bend and sculpt your genitals into various shapes. The show evolved out of a project by an Australian dude named Simon Morley, who put together a collection of his dozen favorite dick tricks and sold them in a calendar. On New Years Eve 1997, after endless ribbing from friends and colleagues, Morley took his tricks to the stage with a chum named David Friend, [...]

While watching a recent episode of " American Idol ," we hardly recognized guest judge Kenny Loggins , who had trimmed his trademark beard into the much more modern facial hair style of goatee . Kenny's less hirsute face got us thinking that there just weren't enough bearded musicians anymore. What happened to the facial hair-a-plenty days when guys like Loggins, George Michael and Kip Winger topped the charts? With that in mind, we decided to compile a list of musicians who rocked a beard and moustache through the bulk of their career heyday. [...]

Hi, I'm Jim Hanks . My brother Tom is a big time movie star. He has two Oscars. He's also been in a lot of movies with Meg Ryan. She used to be pretty hot, but I hardly recognize her anymore since that bad facelift she got. Speaking of recognizing someone, you might recognize me from when I did my brother's running parts in the "Forrest Gump" movie. I didn't get paid much, but I did get a free pairs of Nikes which was cool. Hi, I'm Ramon [...]

The ten names below belong to either a cast member from MTV's "Real World" / "Road Rules ," a prog rock band, or both. Will you be voted out or will you harmonize effortlessly over complicated chord changes? 1. Kaia 2. Yes 3. Triana 4. Irulan 5. Pua 6. Genesis 7. Ibis 8. Montana 9. Kansas 10. Now Answers: Cast members = 1, 4, 5, 8 [...]

We grabbed the following still from the season premiere of "The Osbournes": Yes, that's a smiley face tattooed on Ozzy's knee. We were as shocked as you are. From the Prince of Darkness, we expected something a little bit tougher. Maybe something more like this: But hey, what do we know, it's still a lot cooler than our tattoo .

Artists have long been fascinated by death and dying. Joe Coleman and Pushead made names for themselves several years ago by using gore as a primary theme in their work. And recently it seems that a new generation of artists have found influence in the same kind of material -- guys like current NYC it-boy, Neckface . But is it possible that these artists have been influenced by the actual art of serial killers? In hopes of finding out, we decided to take a closer look at the creative underbelly that is this country's mass [...]

We recently heard that Scott Baio was in talks to star in a new sitcom for HBO, which got us thinking that even though he played a character on TV named Chachi, when he walks down the street, most people aren't likely thinking, hey there goes Scott Baio. It's probably more like, "Yo Chachi!" This denial of real life existence is the same with the way we refuse to acknowledge that the singer of Hootie and the Blowfish is actually named Darius. Or that Urkel's real name is Jaleel. We somehow feel justified to forever torture these celebs [...]

• Theme - Joanie Loves Chachi

Sas Christian paints porcelain-skinned punk rock girls with anime eyes. But her subjects' tough exteriors can't hide the fear that lurks beneath. The painful truth can be glimpsed within the colors of their gorgeously rendered oversized peepers, revealing that underneath the punk rock haircuts and angel/devil grins are our sisters and daughters. Beyond the seriousness of the images, there's also a kitschy sensibility that permeates much of Sas' work (the two men she's painted are both entertainment icons: Dean Martin and Pee WeeHerman ). In recent [...]

The fine folks at Found have at long last released Dirty Found , a smutty spin-off of their endlessly fascinating magazine. What the Found folks do is simple, they compile found notes, photos, postcards, et al, and publish them in a magazine (and recently, a book ). Employees of secondhand record and bookstores seem to the biggest finders (better check those old Frampton LPs a little more closely before selling them back). Other finds are from [...]

As we watched the new Kevin Bacon-as-pedophile flick " The Woodsman " this week, we were reminded of the lovely Kyra Sedgwick , who also stars in the film. Kyra first grabbed our attention in Cameron Crowe's grungy love story "Singles," and since the early '90s seems to show up in a decent flick every few years. Of late, another lovely Keira, this one British, has warmed our cockles. Keira Knightley (who, for the record, can warm anything she'd like) was good with balls in "Bend It Like Beckham" and wore a tight [...]

A new season of " The Surreal Life " debuted last night on VH1, and we gotta say, the series is off to a fantastic - albeit surprisingly gay - start. For those not in the know, "The Surreal Life" is "The Real World" gone celebrity, whereby VH1 replaces the obscenely attractive twenty-somethings of the MTV version with less attractive C-list celebs. In this season's inaugural episode, not only does the Go-Go's Jane Wiedlin skinny dip with America's Next Top Model, but Mini-Me gets totally fucking naked after getting totally fucking hammered and pisses all over the living [...]

Over the holidays, we visited our best friend Benny who always has terrific taste in humiliating entertainment. On this particular Friday evening, Benny pulled from his archives an amazing video called, " The Dinah Shore Portal to Hell ." The DVD, which is released by a great site called 5 Minutes to Live , is essentially a compilation of the most embarrassing celebrity musical performances from Dinah Shore's old school TV chat show. And we use the word "musical" pretty loosely here. We're not sure Herve Villechaize's warblings actually qualify as music. Other lowlights: David Carradine getting [...]