Blog: Hipster RunOff

Photo via Stereogum Fiona Apple is some 1990s Lilith-Fair-wave female artist. She released an album this year, kissed up to Pitchfork by playing their SXSW showcase, and tried to convince every1 that she is an 'indie artist' even though there is no point in her pretending to be 'indie' since she is rich off the era when humans still purchased CDs. Fiona Apple was last seen looking REALLY SKINNY at a previous show . Now it seems as though she has CrAZy EyEs. They [...]

Photo by Weird Magix Black Grimes ! U look like Grimes (aka Claire Boucher )! Except ur black! [African-American] So what are your influences? Do u make bleep bloop buzzybands? Do u cut ur own bangs? Do u suck on other girls' ta-ta's? Oh black woman who looks likes Grimes but might not actually look like her at all except she is just wearing stuff that Grimes might wear and [...]

Thom Yorke is one of those artists who wants you to think they are really authentic, except u realize his band has only release garbage concept rocktronica albums that tricked casual drug users into thinking that 'shit was fuckin amazing' when they are basically just MUSE from the 1990s. Who cares. Anyways, he can poop on a CD and sell it to thousands of people, so u gotta give him props for turning poo into 'indie coverage' for the better part of 20+ years. Anyways, Thom Yorke once had a controversial ponytail. [...]

Miley BB! Where the EFF is ur brassiere? Your breasts are PERFECT and PERKY, especially with ur TRIM FIGURE and TIGHT BODY. They look like lucsious lumps of goodness, ready to squirt milk when u r finally a mother. But ur so young and you should really think about it waiting for it, especially to make love to a man. I probably made a mistake and did it when I was too young. I thought I was making love, but it was just a hornie little boy getting his rocks off. He never talked to me [...]

As far as I'm concerned, Cat Power's career has been a failure, and now she is 'finally putting out an album' when indie is just this stupid PR song and dance, forcing uneducated consumers to consider something 'buzzworthy' just because some dumb writer hacks 'write about it' on homogenous content farms. Every1 just remembers her as a name brand 'female indie singer', then Feist stole her entire marketshare, her bangs, and all of the mainstream money she could have made if she had just taken some antidepressants. Instead, she turned to the church of Scientology [via [...]

Dear mom, First and foremost, you are a BITCH. This letter isn't just about the smartphone that you won't buy me. It's about you being a TOTAL BITCH whenever you get the opportunity. I'm not bitter, I'm honestly just sayin'. I sometimes curse your name and wish for your death because of the CRAPPY FOOD that you cook and the way you treat me like that time you wouldn't let me go to the movie's for Sarah's birthday and EVERYONE was there and I felt like such a loser the next Monday at school when every one [...]

Link: http://pitchfork.com/reviews/a lbums/16980-centipede-hz/ Animal Collective 's Centipede HZ was destined to fail, after their career defining Merriweather Post Pavvy defined the glory days of 2k9 indie. Back in a time where everything indie was roses, daises, and Bath and Body Works gift certificates to buy creams and lotions that smellt like roses and daisies. Fast forward 3 years. It is 2k12. How was AnCo supposed to follow up 'perfection'? They were doomed. Some say that they have failed. Others say that this is a natural [...]

Sarah Silverman used to be a trendy, raunchy, dirty, disgusting, quirky female comedienne, but what if I told you that she morphed into a teenaged designer from East Hampton who runs an Etsy Store where she sells her dresses? Sarah Silverman has morphed into an ecommerce mogul, with webpages that get hundreds of hits per month. Sometimes she goes to the city, New York City, that is, to coordinate with a seamstress in the fashion district to bring her designs to life. Sarah Silverman will study Fashion Design at SCAD in the fall. She had [...]

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Is that THE NEW GIRL? It totally HAS TO BE! I'd recognize the Fox Comedy icon anywhere! Simpsons who? #TeamZoZo I love LOVE LOVE Zooey Deschanel. She's a music, acting, comedy, and magazine cover icon. With her amazing body and amazing talents, there's no reason for her NOT to be showing off her cleavage on the cover of #cosmo! I love #COSMO. It's actually how I learned to have sex. It didn't help me when I made a TOTAL A$$ out of myself when my bf put his thingy in my poop shoot. #emberressing. [...]

Oh Lana BB... I remember when u were just some dumb lady embedded on Gorilla Vs Bear But look at u now U've been churned thru the fame cycle like the goo of schlop that u always wanted to be at the end of the day I guess all that matters it that u LOOK GOOD, bb! I wish I could milk ur teet Fill my body with creamy goodness All of the buzz that will take me 2 such great heights. [...]

This picture is beautiful for many reasons. First of all, Miley and her mom are beautiful themselves. Second of all, they have a beautiful relationship. On top of it all, I LOVE their #interiordesign. I wanna go to school for that if i save up enough money and take out a loan there is a college in the strip mall by my house that offers it. It makes me sad and angry to see Miley and her mom becuase I wish I ahd the same thing with my mom. Ugh. I'm srsly fuming right [...]

Gaga BB! Is that u? Put a big tee on, bb! That's what I sleep in. :-D I love LOVE LOVE big tees. They are so comfy, and they hide my bellie. :-( At the same time, I am happy that God invented a tee that my bellie can hide behind. In a way, it is like a safety blanket, but at the same time, it is a t-shirt. AT the same time, Gaga looks BEAUTIFUL. She is an inspiration for all of the women with pancake titties in the [...]

BRITTY WITTY BRATTY WATTY! I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU! K-Fed is a FREAKING IDIOT for leaving u. Yall have 2 beautaful children, and he HAD to have found a way to at least keep it together for yall. I mean.. srsly... as some1 who had parents who only were together for one night, it makes a HUGE difference. On top of that, ur body is BANGIN, especially after pooing out 2 children. How did u work the weight off bb? I still have to use a free consultation with a personal trainer at the gym [...]

Whenever a mainstream artist is caught lip syncing, it becomes a worldwide scandal. We're all familiar with Milli Vanilla, Ashlee Simpson, and all of the other tween pop stars who use 'backing tracks' because they have to dance all over the stage. What if I told you that indie stars are starting to lip sync? What if I told you that indie's latest CONTROVERSY happened in Boulder, CO? What if I told you that Best Coast has once again found herself exposed as the indie genre's first lip syncer. Oh Bethany... Why, bb? Why? [...]

A-Podcast-About-SWAG.mp3 This is a podcast about #SWAG. In this podcast, Carles attempts to understand what it means to #SWAG. R u SWAG? Plz leave a cmmnt suggesting new, exciting PODCAST topics that need to be hit. Feel free to call the HIPSTER RUNOFF HOTLINE at (909) BRO-SKI2 to be on the next podcast.

• HIPSTER RUNOFF - A Podcast About SWAG

Courtney BB! U've finally become a #woman. I've honestly never been this happy since Miley Cyrus became a woman! Courtney Stodden is so GLAM and FAB and has a BANGIN BOD! I rlly wish that I had ur #BANGINBOD when I was ur age. I could get a HOTTIE MCHOTHOT husband sugar daddie to take care of me and he'd dress like a TOTAL biker bad boy. I rlly need to get spray on abs sometime soon, but I guess they would look dumb on top of my huge belly. :-( I probs need [...]

Donald Glover has tanked at Coachella . Donald Glover has TANKED at Bonaroo. Donald Glover has TANKED at Sasquatch . Donald Glover has TANKED at Lollapalooza. Now it seems as thought Donald Glover put on a comedy special just for himself and TANKED. In front of a group of loyal Donald Glover fans who think he is so #SWAG and #CRAY. They will go see him rap, they will go see him perform comedy, they will [...]

2k12-PODCAST-BRAND-RELAUNCH.mp 3 The return of the HIPSTER RUNOFF Podcast. It has been so long. I miss podcasting. I miss connecting with humans. I will do another podcast by the end of the week if there are quality calls delivered to the HIPSTER RUNOFF HOTLINE. (909) BRO-SKI2 (909) 276-7542 What do u want Carles 2 podcast abt?

• HIPSTER RUNOFF - 2k12 PODCAST BRAND RELAUNCH

Remember that time Paris Hilton DJed? She was terrible. It seems like she has finally reverted to what she does best in the latest GQ Russia: posing topless [via sex tapes]. This isn't really big news, and I don't really have anything to say about it. She's a terrible DJ and a terrible human, so all we can really do is fantasize about have humiliating sex with her. I guess that's part of her 'whore vibe'. To attract the types of dudes who want to buy hookers, do tons of blow, tie up a [...]