Blog: My Chemical Toilet

Sometimes, readership, you read a Q&A with a popstar and get the distinct impression that, when it comes to the interview, "their heart's not in it". Like, say, when the questions they're asked are considerably longer than the answers they give. Anyway, on a completely separate matter here's Daisy of Daisy Dares You almost-fame ( right, after losing a contact lens ) answering some tricky teasers from this webalog. Hello Daisy of Daisy Dares You almost-fame. When I was 17, I sat my driving [...]

This is Ruth Flowers, a 69 year-old DJ. What she actually does DJ-wise - apart from wear sparkly headphones and wave her hands about - is unclear from this video... ... BUT THAT'S THE CASE WITH ALL DJS ISN'T IT, WHO'S WITH ME? I was hoping she might deliver an "it's all just noise anyway" kiss-off at the end, but apparently DJ Ruth means it, man. [via Mashable ]

When one receives a fair few emails from folk hawking their musical acts, it sometimes takes something a little extry to get one to open, um, one. The name "Spank Pops" is an example of such extryness. It draws to mind, simultanishly, such possibilliums as: 1. Some of that popping candy you used to put on your tongue and which would supposedly blow your cerebellum out of your eye-holes if you mixed it with Safeways cola, no really, this kid at my cousin's school died from it 1.1 A slightly [...]

I got to two minutes four seconds in before the tears began to sting too much, which I think is pretty good. You? [via Best Week Ever ]

Have some Die Antwoord. [via Boing Boing ]

Gun/fish/barrel interface time, everyone! It's hard to pick out the single most irritating element of this cover version of "Don't Stop The Music", but the one at the forefront of my mind at the time of writing is that there will almost certainly be people out there who would have turned the radio off when Rihanna's original came on, but will turn up the volume on Mr Cullum's version. She's a pop puppet, you see, while Jamie is a "talented" "musician". BALLS.

You may have heard that Dappy, the be-hatted wee gonad-y looking one off the N-Dubz who is apparently addicted to crashing model airplanes (?!), got himself into a spot of bov recently. If you haven't, the story in a nutshell is: N-Dubz appeared on Chris Moyles's riot of a radio show A lady called Chloe txtd the show calling Dappy - who was once given a suspended jail sentence after spitting in a girl's face - "a vile little boy with a hat" (LOL) Dappy - who became [...]

I hope that if I ever have a children, and a rather up-and-down movie career, I'll do a better job than John Travolta when the inevitable father/daughter movie tie-in cover of Bobby Brown comes a-knocking. I'll never better the centre-parted plugs or wacky madcap antics that clearly take place in Old Dogs , though. At the time of writing the movie is sitting pretty atop a 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes , so at least the amount of damage this ickyvid can do is pretty limited. "Ella Bleu" sounds a bit [...]

Twista - Fire (feat. Boosie) (Preview) (2009) A doctor's surgery. Twista enters the room. Doctor: Ah, Twista. Hello, how have you been? Twista: Gottapaininmypeepee pleasehelpmeGP Doctor: Hmm, this again. Did you take my advice, and start using protection? Twista : Playadon'tputrubberonhisdick DoctorMick Doctor: Well, you know, you're kind of asking for it in that case. What's your objection to condoms, [...]

Braggage is an accepted part of the rap "game", but it tends to be much more compelling when it's done with a subtle sense of humour. Tinie Tempah seems to recognise this, as he shows in his soon-to-be-sizable-if-it-isn't -already-I-dunno-I-don't-keep- track-of-the-charts-these-days tune, "Pass Out". "I got so many clothes I keep some at my aunt's house" is probably my favourite bit, but there's a pleasing rags-to-riches feel to "now I drive past the bus I used to run for", as well. Love the track too, although in my 'umble I think the hook/chorus/whatever - sung by [...]

Here's Jimmy Page in iconic record emporium Rough Trade West, on which he is about to place a tribal curse because it was constructed atop his ancestors' graveyard. Not really, he's promoting the fact that Royal Mail are taking a break from being all strikey to release some stamps based on "classic albums" . Incidentally, is there a more beardy phrase in all of musicdom than "classic album"? Negatory. Here are the stamps in some of their glory. I like the little glimpse of vinyl which peeks out from each [...]

Kings Of Leon have *finally* brought out a clothing line , hurrah! It was getting pretty tiresome wandering around Top Man and H&M, not being able to find a single pair of skinny-fit black trousers or elegantly distressed plaid shirt. You took your sweet time, Kings! Of Leon! Here's a hat from their "collection": Nice hat, isn't it? It's got a brim, and a whatever-you-call-the-bit-that -covers-your-bald-patch. There's a pretty bit of string (or "ribbon") there too, and a couple of those pleasing dents where you can place your digits as [...]

The Man, of course, doesn't understand how Ver Kids consumify music these days. That is why universalmusicgroup make their music videos unembeddable. (Do you ever get a frisson of somethingorother when you use a word and suddenly think, "Wowzers, that chunk of language wasn't even close to existing ten years ago. And if you'd made it up and said it at someone, it wouldn't have meant jackpoo to them." "Unembeddable", everyone.) One of the consequences of such Man-ness is that sometimes, rather than watching a video on a blog, you have to actually go [...]

Hey, she said it. But to be fair to her, Bertie was a tad tired at the time. BUT NOT TOO TIRED TO CHAT TO JANE BRADLEY FOR THIS HERE BLOGAZINESITE. Yes, since I asked "Who is this Bertie Blackman person, then?" a couple of months back after encountering her splendid single "Thump", Jane went along to have a mouthwag and find out 'first-hand'. They talked about Bertie's ARIA-winning album Secrets and Lies (which is vay good), crushes on Fronch pop stars and, um, "nanimals". BEHOLDIFY: [...]

Only fourteen days into December, and here's the first post of the month. It's a gig review from November. Look, X Factor 's been on, OK? John-Scott Croly gamely went along to an all-ages show by emerging musical yoots Flamboyant Bella , where he felt like a bit of a phaedopile. I nudged my mate. "Look, that singer well fancies me," I said, pointing stageward. "Fuck off," he replied, "she's looking at me". "Yeh, whatevs blud, look at your fucking beard!"... Midway through the argument we realised we were stood [...]

Mariah Carey has covered Foreigner's classic (IT IS AN EFFING CLASSIC) "I Want To Know What Love Is". If you are not familiar with the original, just watch VH1 Classic for half an hour. Any half-hour. It'll come up. In the audience of the video for Mariah's new number you are presented with a range of demographics with which to identify. Which one are you ? 1. Eminem, aged 7 (possible subtext: before he became "Obsessed" with Mariah) [...]

There's something a bit Common about the rapping man from Fly Gypsy (Common, not "common"), in that during "You" he manages to rap about the dirty without coming off like a braggart or fibbacious schoolboy. I will admit I am rather fond of the line that goes "my cursive is curvacious", too. Um, it sounds better coming from him. And doesn't the video make you think of all those classic "I am shooting a video on a beach somewhere tropikaaaal, therefore I shall be doing lots of boning 'neath a coconut tree, oh [...]

Niki Jones (he's a he, btw) went along to the launch night for a "video game" where some bands played. He almost managed to see both of them, and details his experience in an amusing manner thusaway: Shoreditch is known for several things: curry houses, dotcom companies, floppy hair dos and unfeasibly tight jeans. But it's not a place known for its undead problem (unlike nearby Dalston). Tonight, however, the place is positively swarming with the rotting buggers, though fortunately for the general public someone seems to have herded them up and put them behind the [...]

If you get a birthday card from Heidi, Amelle and Other One, and it looks like it was bashed together in Microsoft Word, and it employs AN UNAPPEALING FONT - this awkward little video will explain why. Expect Keisha, Mutya and Siobhan to proclaim their Mac-ness in the very near future. [via Popjustice ]

Here we have a guest post from a new addition to the MCT carousel of scribbling talent. He goes by the nom of Nick Bryan, and he "maintains" a blog called Feeding The Black Dog . GO NICK GO. Anyone remember Robbie Williams from earlier in the decade? Pop star, successful, rich, prone to whinging about how hard and unfair it all was? Actually, maybe you're too young. You only remember the recent Robbie Williams, the less-successful reject member of the unexpectedly popular reunited Take That. He did that bug-eyed thing on [...]