Blog: My Chemical Toilet

Amerie 's new one "Heard 'Em All" is a frantic, tribal-beats-y kind of thing, with lots of great "uh-huh"s and "hey hey"s. I liked it after two listens, which makes it about an 8/10 on the immediacy scale. Clearly "One Thing" was an 11, but let's give the poor girl a break because very few people ever produce a song that perfect and then have the misfortune to find themselves judged against it forever. The video has a built-in guarantee of quality in that Amerie appears in it, but some people might deem it a bit of a [...]

Bobby Brown appeared on VH1's Behind The Music last week. If you're looking for a detailed breakdown of his and Whitney's daily drug intake you'll be disappointed, but it does have its highlights. I think mine is when Bobby says that at the peak of his fame he would find himself on a tour bus, see someone driving a car he liked the look of, follow said vehicle, then purchase it from the driver on the spot with cash. And then discard the car when he had to leave town for the next leg of the tour. [...]

For unsigned artists keen to have their music featured on the tellybox - whether it be TV shows or adverts - and thereby gain entrance to this site's hallowed Where Have I Heard That Song Before? category, Sentric Music have been useful people to hook up with for a while now. Why, they've secured spots on Lexus TV ads, episodes of Hollyoaks and - the Sincerity Rock holy grail - One Tree Hill for all manner of bands you haven't quite heard of yet. [...]

Riton & Primary 1's original dose of acid-para bounciness soundtracked, at a guess, 34,10413412.3 clammy-palmed comedowns in 'Beefa this summer, and now it's been given a (limited) new lease of life thanks to a verse from Wiley. He does give it a nice splurge of urgency, a la "Rolex" , but why is his contribution - and indeed the song as a whole - so short? Oh well, I'm sure a krillian more remixes will emerge to give us a proper go at those acid house synfs. Until then: [...]

• Riton & Primary 1 - Who's There? (featuring Wiley)

In the pub with some New Zealandish people the other night, one of them kindly scribbled down a complete history of her country's contribution to pop music. Not sure what New Order are doing in there. And she spelled my name wrong. Which period's your favourite? This comes courtesy of Philipa Drinkwater, who doesn't have a website but does occasionally perform as Maria von Trapp . "Thanks Philipa."

This has been said elsewhere plenty recently, but John Hughes' untimely recent clog-popping reminded us that, without the killer soundtracks, his movies wouldn't have been quite so fondly remembered. While Molly Ringwald and Judd Nelson are among the first things I think of when I hear The Breakfast Club mentioned, so is "Don't You Forget About Me". Watching the marvellous Adventureland at the weekend I was struck at how worthy it is of joining the pantheon of Great, Funny, Sweet Teen Movies With Amazing Soundtracks. [...]

Already one of those groups that polarises opinion, I'm hoping Alphabeat haven't tipped over into ubiquitous loathsomeness on account of that dreadful Diet Coke advert they soundtrack . I can't tell you how much I hate that fucking ad. Oh, hang on - yes I can: [----------------------------- -----THIS MUCH-------------------------- -------] "The Spell", their new single, has a distinct late-80s vibe garnishing a predictably sugar-sweet pop hook. It's brilliant, and if you don't like it you deserve to be made to listen to Snow Patrol for the rest [...]

After the initial giddy rush of realisation that Chromeo are finally back - and the "of course!" headslap when you realise they've jacked Survivor's "Eye Of The Tiger" - does "Night By Night" live up to the anticipation? The verses are very similar to "Rage" , and you'd have to say it's not a huge departure from their previous stuff. But, you know, not enough people heard their previous stuff - so if they're after proper, people-actually-buying-your-re cords success, "Night By Night" is a promising indication that the new album is going to be [...]

SOMEONE MAKE THIS WOMAN QUEEN OF ENGLAND, FOR SHE IS ALREADY QUEEN OF MY HEART. [via aloudsound.net ]

Clearly miffed that Jeremih has encroached on his R(umpo)&B(oning) turf, R Kelly has returned with a tune so self-parodic that it might very well reach HMV's shelves housed in a rubber johnny. "Having sex with you is like makin' hits," he muses to his partner on the track, Keri Hilson. One dreads to think what one might find on entering a recording studio that R Kelly has just vacated. Spunk everywhere.

The dancefloor is traditionally a place of joy, somewhere we can all forget the stresses and strains of everyday life by flailing our limbs rhythmically alongside friends and/or people we are keen to sex on. However, over the years numerous pop songs have detailed disturbing events to have taken place on the dancefloor. Arson, indecent exposure - even bloody murder - have all occurred, calling into question the security arrangements at the nitespots in question and almost certainly ruining many people's nights out. These are the top five lyrical crimes committed on the dancefloor. [...]

That Louise Doherty went along to see that rapper Example the other night. Here she talk: I swore I'd never go to another Example gig after the last time, when the man himself called me an idiot. I'm certain there are many things I've done which deserve that charming accolade, but going to a gig on my own because I'm a long-time proponent of Example's particularly unique brand of dysfunctional electro pop - while my friends aren't (yet) - is not one of them. The incident [...]

You might need to be "of a certain age" to recall Shanice's "I Love Your Smile". If you're not that age, this is it: "Psych". Well, while you might assume Shanice fell down the same pop/R&B plughole as Ralph Tresvant , Urlesque recently revealed that she's still going. Even if "still going" in this case means "uploading videos of herself singing in her living room to YouTube". Here she is doing Christina's "Beautiful". Warning - it may start understated, but some severe wailing soon follows: [...]

photo: Maxime Dodinet Last weekend I went to Paris for Rock en Seine festival, as one of the esteemed music bloggers invited along by the nice peoples behind Eurostar's Little Break Big Difference campaign. In what is surely a record for My Chemical Toilet here is an account of the event, turned around in just ONE WEEK. Friday Having travelled first-class on the Eurostar (only two and a half hours from King's Cross St. Pancras, clock-watchers!), with breakfast and champagne [...]

Poor Jane Bradley . I made her write about this ridiculous video by some people called The Octopus Project: Apparently, there was a "pretty gnarly fog" when The Octopus Project filmed the video for "Wet Gold". Maybe I shouldn't let this choice of adjective irritate me such an inordinate amount. But I don't think words like "gnarly" or "bodacious" should be used by anyone, except maybe Bill and Ted (of Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey fame), or kids on council estates pretending to be Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles . That's [...]

If you were hoping Massive Attack might take a thrash metal detour for their new material you'll be disappointed, but if you like their brand of vague menace "Splitting The Atom" should satisfy. It reminds me of The Specials, if The Specials ever whispered rapey threats in your ear down a dark alley at night. It has a simple, nagging hook you kind of don't want to end, and which will probably be used to soundtrack someone OD'ing on ketamine on a cop drama near you soon. Hurrayzies! [via Nialler9 ]

Oasis's next live performance - following their controversial V cancellation - is due this weekend at Paris's Rock en Seine festival. Will they show? Well, thanks to the people behind Little Break, Big Difference , I'll be there to see with my own jaded eyes. Turns out there's this thing called Eurostar which means you can get to the continent quite quickly? Huh! The shonkiness of my laptop means my live updates will be restricted to Twitter , but I am quite sure they will be very informative, utterly sober and correctly-spelled. Keep an [...]

Basshunter (real name: Ian Basshunter) has produced a very odd piece of work here. Let's overlook the fact that he commits a common lyrical crime in switching between "she" and "you" with abandon, and instead focus on a couple of things about the video. Thing 1 : He rolls with a crew who are so much bloody fun that he literally never gets five minutes alone with his missus to propose to her. There he is on a yacht, or a piece of reclining beach furniture, fumbling about in the pocket of his cargo shorts for [...]

This trailer is not quite as funny as the cast and subject matter led me to hope for. I don't suppose Ang Lee's especially well known for his comedies though, is he... Taking Woodstock is released in the UK on November 6th

When I was a child I used to sing along to records of Disney movie soundtracks. I remember when George Michael's "I Want Your Sex" was deemed too risqué for radio. How times done changed, my kittens, how times done changed. These days YouTube is littered with videos of little kids being filmed singing and dancing along to songs with delightfully inappropriate lyrics. You'll see them singing along to Akon and Fergie , wondering if the parents - who are nearly always behind the camera egging them on - will next enter them into one of those [...]