Blog: Voodoo Kitchen

Look, Mum - I'm multitasking! A long, long time ago in a far away land...OK, so it wuz Lundun, in 95, wannit? Anna tunes woz massive, wanney? Too right. Anyway, back in 1995 I picked up one of those free compilation tapes (yup, Dark Ages) that came with a copy of Select magazine, and amongst other aural delights there was one tune that blew me away. This is the tune presented on today's 'No Music Friday' here in the Voodoo Kitchen. What's that? 'Can't have music [...]

Here's a story: ---- I ignored my way through that year at Whitelaw's. They didn't like it, and made their feelings quite clear on the matter, but what could they do? My work was always in ahead of schedule, up to scratch and, if anything, of better quality than they had expected. So they could gently go and fuck themselves. I deserved every cigarette break, despite the accusing glances and discontented grumblings directed at me from behind the plexiglass panels that constituted their poor understanding of an office. With long-term employees having swallowed the [...]

The forecast for the US is 30% chance of pointy nipples, and it's much the same for the rest of us... Right, well, it's time for the inaugural 'Where The Hell Are They All?' Voodoo Kitchen Overview. Above is a map that has been diligently compiled by small men in a dingy basement hocked up on coffee and cheap cigarettes. (Which is, of course, how all the real work gets done on this planet. Coffee and cigarettes, man, I'm tellin ya. Gospel.) As you can see, we're well on our way to world [...]

I make no bones about being a card-carrying, box-set buying Radiohead fanatic. And whilst I owe my musical education (and bow in deference) to the greats who have come before, this bunch are far and away the ostrich's orbs, in my inestimable opinion. Many people disagree, and as far as I'm concerned they can all go and boil their brains, the unrepentant Philistines that they are. I mean honestly – Muse? Coldplay? Pfff. Smoke another one. Anyway. Here's an Amplive remix of 'Weird Fishes'. It's a bit glitchy, it's a little electro'd up, got some sharp beats and [...]

[sign 'o the times] No music today. (It's 'No Music Friday' here in the Kitchen...) Just a link to some of the craziest Polaroids ever seen by man or lens. If you've never heard of Dash Snow, allow the almighty wiki to illuminate you: 'Snow's photographic work often depicts scenes of a candid or illicit nature. Instances of sex, drug taking, violence and art-world pretentiousness are documented with disarming frankness and honesty, offering insight into the decadent lifestyle increasingly associated with young New York City artists and their social circles.' [...]

'Told you I'm too short for the High Five, Joseph.' 'Sorry Paul. Low Five?' 'Dub music evolved from early instrumental reggae music and "versions" that incorporated fairly primitive reverb and echo sound effects.' - Wikipedia Did I tell you that dub music once saved my life? Strue's Bob, it's the gospel, straight from the horse's nipple. Yes indeed, it does exactly what it says on the tin – 'restores your faith in humanity, rids you of irrational outbreaks of negativity.' It's aural sunshine, I tellya. Goes without saying (what [...]

Hands up all those who want a Lemur for Christmas... Well pump me full of nitrous and stick a match up my keyster - look at that - those head-nodding knob-twiddling muppets that call themselves Seake have pulled finger and have staked out their patch in the rarified atmosphere of the intraweb. There they go, laying claim as one of the hottest rising acts on the positively bristling underground music scene in that city we love to hate, the throbbing cosmopolitan metropolis of Durban, no less. (I jest, but hey, whatever [...]

(DJ Meanboy dishing the deep down and dirty) 'In the name of the Jol, the whole Jol and nothing but the Jol!' (So help me jol?) With a motto like that, anyone attending a NoNoNo!!! event should expect a carnival. And carnival is exactly what you get, replete with a soundtrack of cutting-edge electronica, retrosynth classics and rarely-heard alternative masterpieces at these occasionally staged events. Saturday's event, the second of two NoNoNo!!! parties held at the faded grande dame of Umbilo Road, the Willowvale Hotel, was a jam-packed affair which [...]

Alright, folks? So I've decided to take my work overground, to stop you from falling in with the right crowd. Yes folks, that what you get folks, for shakin' booty. The plan is to drop at least one obscure/epic/bewildering/aston ishing/mindfrigger of a tune a week. Why the hell not? What was that? More Cowbell? Certainly, madam. Step right this way... For your hors d'ouvre this lovely 31st day of January 08, we'd like to start off with a little ditty from one our favourite favourites, a rework of Blur's 'Tender' by Keigo Oyamada (aka Cornelius), [...]

A long, long time ago (actually it was 1997-2001), I lived in a fantastic house that was once home to an avid collector of records. There were untold numbers of them, only a fraction of which I ever got through listening to. One of these, Songs By Tom Lehrer , was a moth-eaten 10" LP which had one tune in particular I found most amusing. It's called 'The Old Dope Peddler' and I present it here, along with lyrics and sleeve note, for your edification. Enjoy! 'You are no doubt familiar with songs about the [...]

Ladies and gents, boys and girls, freaks and creatures - drumroll, please maestro - Portishead are to release their third album, the rather cryptically titled 'Third'. In a brief but welcome snippet of info on their site ( www.portishead.co.uk ) they had this to say: ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------ REAL NEWS 23 Jan 2008 We're pleased to announce that we'll be releasing our album, titled THIRD. on April 14th 2008. The album has 11 tracks and is 49 minutes 13 seconds long.' ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --- Well now. Not exactly verbose [...]

I love these three, they're my favourite tit-brandishing musicians. Taken from Q Magazine, May 1994 (with a dash of license) Q: Do you have, or have you ever, felt in competition with each other? BJORK: No way. POLLY: No. TORI: Never. It's funny for women because journalists pit women against each other. If you think about Hendrix, Page and Clapton they were all much more similar to each other than we are. We have tits. We have three [...]

NONONO!!! - January 26 2008 – Willowvale Hotel - Durban - KwaZulu Natal - South Africa In the Name Of The Fader, The Subs And The High Spirits – LET THERE BE JOL! Yes folks, that's what you get folks, for shakin' booty. Once again the Sacred Amplifier Of Love will be cranked up to 1.21 jigawatts so that the faithful can practice their devotions to the Jol, the whole Jol and nothing but the Jol. So help us all. And our livers. And our heads. And, come to think of it, unfortunate Rajen at Cha-Cha's [...]

ATT: All shoppers RE: Product Discontinued Our best product, the Travis Lyle 3000, will officially be pulled from circulation tomorrow, in a move that has met with much wailing and gnashing of teeth from our single hot female demographic. Although we are aware that this is our best-selling product, we regret to inform our devoted customers that the license for this product has been bought out by ravishing new company Abigail Case Inc, who will be taking ownership of this highly successful item at 11:30 at a handover ceremony at [...]