
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAURA! The above is not an entirely accurate depiction of today's festivities. For one, my family members are much more terrifying than the party guests portrayed on the cover...nor would I invite any of them to our house, ever. Also, two decades and change have passsed since Maura's Sweet Sixteen, and we had to move our serving table coffin up to the attic after I left one too many rings on it. (Drink coasters are for anti-American elitists, don'cha know. Here in Real America TM , we put [...]