Blog: Citizen Dick

I'm home from work today because the right side of my face is swollen to roughly twice its normal size. My doctor gave me some antibiotics, hypothesizing that I was bitten in my sleep by some sort of nefarious insect. I have a slightly wilder theory. I believe a gypsy put a curse on me. I was haggling over the price of a donkey this weekend with a travelling band of Eastern Europeans and secured what I thought was an excellent deal for both parties. The state of my face implies that the gypsy thought she got a raw deal. [...]

• I Love You - The Colloquialism Is Simply "Gas"