
This is pretty hilarious and embarrassing, but I'll share it anyway because I have no filter to stop me from divulging every thought I have. I almost choked to death yesterday. Don't be alarmed, don't be frightened; it wasn't like I was eating something savory like a sandwich or a hunk of meat. I was eating fucking popcorn at the movie theater and I almost died. A tiny kernel of popcorn nearly took down the world's preeminent self-absorbed blogger. I'm pretty sure if I had not regained the ability to breathe, and I had actually died, my friends [...]