Tagged: gordonsmart

Something terrible happened, and Gordon is outraged : CHRIS MARTIN and GWYNETH PALTROW walked through the door of London member’s club Mark’s separately and once inside, they didn’t pose with each other for pics. Imagine that! They didn't try to force each other through the doorway at the same time, and then refused to dance a jig for your photographers? The shame. Still, Gordon looks on the bright side: but at least they were out together. I'm sure they'll be grateful for your concern. -- Visit [...]

How goes the Blue comeback? Given their role on ITV2's Big Reunion, and their swaggering refusal to play more than handful of the related gigs on account of being too famous, things must be sweet for them, right? Apparently not : BOYBAND Blue have gone bust — in the middle of a massive comeback tour. Band members Antony Costa, Duncan James, Lee Ryan and Simon Webbe have called in administrators for their company Blueworld Ltd. It's hard to believe an act who were 11th in Eurovision just two years ago could be [...]

Could there be anything worse than being mistaken for Bruno Mars ? “Some guy at the airport came up to me and went, ‘Hey, Bruno!’ “I was bit taken aback so I just went along with it and started singing Grenade. “He was none the wiser, although he probably thought I was acting like an idiot.” Normally, that'd be a terrible person to be mistaken for, but given this was Jamie Cullum, perhaps being mistaken for Bruno Mars might be getting off easy. -- Visit No Rock & [...]

At last. Someone's suggesting that maybe The Rolling Stones glory days are behind them by quite a distance: “I think there’s a point when you’ve got to say, ‘Enough’s enough’. I just think they’re old, they’re old f*rts. I just think they ain’t rock ’n’ roll any more." It's a good point - although arguably they might very well be rock and roll, and it's just rock that has got old and slow and tired. Tell us, Gordon, who is this young buck calling for the old guard to roll over and let the [...]

Bloody hell, this pre-pubic punnage is harder work than going up the Shard by stairs: In other news, how is The Saturdays' attempts to break America through the medium of reality TV series going? THE Saturdays’ TV show following the girls trying to crack America has been canned — leaving their hopes of US stardom in tatters. The singers failed to secure a second series of Chasing The Saturdays during talks with execs at channel E! in LA. Insiders said bosses pulled the plug [...]

1990s pop star Robbie Williams - check your grandma's Wikipedia edits if you don't recognise the name - has finally joined Status Quo and Cliff Richard in the day room to moan about the young people at Radio One : He branded the Breakfast Show host a “b******” for not playing his tracks – because the singer’s too old. During his set at London’s Grosvenor House, Robbie said: “I did the Brits and started singing, ‘Hey-ho, here we go’ to a bunch of industry people and they were all just like, ‘F*** off, you’re fat [...]

As you'll know, JLS have split into a million pieces. And now America is calling. Gordon reports that Aston is getting ready : FORMER JLS singer prepares to launch his new career in the United States by... Learning all the State capitals? Converting pounds into dollars? Investigating taking citizenship? No, silly. That isn't how you prepare to launch a career in America. FORMER JLS singer prepares to launch his new career in the United States by eating a super-sized candyfloss Yes, that's right. Perhaps Homeland Security have introduced a [...]

Liam Gallagher has got a problem : Liam said: “This tramp kept hassling me at my house. “I know he’s been a problem for other people round our way. He was ringing on our buzzer early in the morning and kept asking if I would pay for his pay-as-you-go phone. Proper mad. “The final straw was when he started messing with my recycling bins. I’m a bit anal about my recycling and he ended up shoving his crutches in my bin. “I came out and squared up to him and he [...]

Liam Gallagher. Well known for writing verbal cheques that bounce, and I fear this one will prove equally valueless , but he's threatening to quit if... something: He said: “If we’re barking up the wrong tree with this record, I don’t know if I can be ar*ed with barking up it again. “I’ll never be a plumber, I’ll never be a fashion designer. “Maybe I’d just sail off into the distance and enjoy my life, instead of worrying about what some spotty little t*** from Hastings thinks about the record.” Oh, people's poet, [...]

Caroline McGuire meets Little Mix : Leigh-Anne: A lot of girls tell us we’re their inspiration and role models and that is just from us being ourselves. I think parents see us as their kids’ role models as well because of the inspirational lyrics that we write. Maybe that’s part of it — they love Change Your Life out there because of the message it has. We’ve had parents come up and thank us for giving their children someone to look up to. That’s an amazing feeling. Really? Really ? -- [...]

For the first time since their cashback, sorry, comeback, it's possible to feel sorry for The Stone Roses: They've got Liam Gallagher troubles : A source close to both camps said: “It’s all gone a bit sour recently with Liam and The Roses. There was an ugly incident in Dubai when Liam said a few things that were totally out of order. It didn’t go down well at all. “Ian, John and Reni are all low-profile lads and don’t subscribe to aggro of any sort. “They were also getting a little bit p***ed [...]

As ever, credit where it's due. The headline on Gordon's story about R Kelly being too scared to get into a plane is good: I Believe I Can Fly ...but I won’t It's not all bad. -- Visit No Rock & Roll Fun to comment, complain and kvetch

Liam Gallagher has opened negotiations for an Oasis comeback : he said: “Listen, it’ll happen when it happens, but it ain’t a f***ing game — it’s the real deal. “I read a lot of people going, ‘Oh, it’s just a blag, innit? So they can get some more noughts on their big f***ing comeback.’ “But I’m still me and he’s gonna be him. “I ain’t changing for a million f***ing pounds... I might do it for £30million.” So, an opening of thirty million. I'm suggesting a kickstarter to raise forty million, [...]

There's a story from Jack Royston on Bizarre today that has lead the MSPaint whizzes at The Sun to come up with this, erm, image: Apparently, then Liam got so drunk he tried to ride a dog. Although for some reason the newspaper has photoshopped him trying to shag the back of a dog's head. He also tried to do a runner from the pub, Ye Olde White Bear in Hampstead And Highgate's trendy Hampstead, before settling the bill: The manager, who asked not to be [...]

Gordon Smart wants us to believe that Lady GaGa has been working through a Top gear box set while she's been unwell. Alright, then. If you say so. -- Visit No Rock & Roll Fun to comment, complain and kvetch

Apparently Kasabian are under the impression they should appear at Glastonbury every year , like mud, Billy Bragg, and those people who steal stuff from tents: [Tom] said: “I’m not playing second fiddle to those bands. We’re just as good, if not better. “We’re the ultimate, we’re the headline band. But he didn’t call us, the b******. “Glastonbury’s on our ‘to-do’ list. All he’s got to do is pick up the phone. “We’ve got every f***ing right to headline Glastonbury ’cos we’re good enough. It will happen.” Oh, yes, not just [...]

Well, this piece from Stephen Moyes in today's Sun is pretty clear : MICHAEL Jackson’s daughter has vowed to “karate chop” convicted doctor Conrad Murray to make him appear at the family’s trial. Nothing like making a daughter's distress at a doctor refusing to help her understand her father's very public death into a cartoon. But still, if you're going to do this, you'd have a good reason for doing it, right? So, where does the 'karate chop' quote come from? A source said: “Paris wants to kick Murray’s butt. She wants him [...]

Andy Halls has bagged an exclusive : AFTER coming second on The Voice last year you’d think Bo Bruce would have the world at her feet. Really, Andy? Given that the person who won The Voice last year vanished like a metal hippo in quicksand, why would anyone think that the runner-up would have had a high profile? Anyway, Bo is back now, with an album that adds One Of Snow Patrol to the already-powerful prospect of songs by Danny Out The One On The Voice That People Say 'Is He In A Band, Then' About. [...]

I'm sure somewhere in the middle of this , Liam Gallagher thinks he's making some sort of hilarious joke: LIAM GALLAGHER has started getting his excuses in for BEADY EYE’s new album title, BE. And, strangely enough, he’s putting the blame on JUSTIN BIEBER. Liam said: “My theory is that it’s gonna have BE on the cover, and then on the back I-E-B-E-R. “Biiiiieee-ber! I’ve got his f****** back, man.” Obviously, having lumbered the album with such a clunky title - not even working up the being arsedness to make it self-titled - there's got to be [...]

Leigh Holmwood, looking after TV for the Sun, reports on a shocking show of disrespect to a national figure who, while divisive, has unquestionably won ratings : SIMON Cowell has been snubbed by Bafta — with neither Britain’s Got Talent nor X Factor nominated for TV awards. They were left out of the reality and constructed factual category ahead of the May 12 ceremony. Wouldn't there have had to be some sort of reason to expect the clapped-out X Factor and the dancing dog to have been selected as the best of the year before [...]