Tagged: masturbation

Shag - Astral Shag - Neck-Snapper Shag - Listen Lots has been going on in my life recently. Moving out of my childhood home has shown me what is truly means to be an adult. Balancing school, a social... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

• Shag - Astral
• Shag - Listen
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So I was meant to learn how to cook during my stay in Dubai...that didn't happen. I thought we had a more pressing issue in our hands, can a smoothie really intensify your orgasm? I wasted no time and went straight to testing. So basically we are dealing with 8 ingredients: 1 Bananna 1 Cup Blueberries 1 Cup Almond Milk 1/2 Cup Peaches [...]

"We understand that you refuse to release this frustrated whale because he is your chief sperm bank, and we know from SeaWorld's own director of safety (as well as videos on the web) that the way you get his sperm is by having someone get into the pool and masturbate him with a cow's vagina filled with hot water. Even during my wildest days with Motley Crue, I never could've imagined something so sick and twisted. Simply put, how can SeaWorld claim that trainers no longer have direct contact with this whale when they are jacking him off? That is [...]

I mean, who knew, really, that the gonzo-style porn - wherein any number of vile acts takes place - of today is not healthy for the teenage boys watching it. And by not healthy, psychologists mean it can cause social anxiety and erectile dysfunction . Ouch. Such videos are often so extreme that they dumbfound even the most free-thinking parents. According to psychiatrist Norman Doidge in The Brain That Changes Itself , porn grows more shocking because today's porn users tend to habituate to material viewed. That is, today's super-stimulating porn, instead of satisfying more, numbs [...]

Kanye West - Dark Fantasy You don't get the privacy necessary to masturbate much when friend-hopping, spending nights on the couches or air-mattresses in friends' busy living rooms. So it's been a while for me, and all of the sudden mundane shit is starting to look real sexy - movie posters, sixes who pass me on the street, Internet ads. "That waitress has some truly impressive cleavage," I tell my friend Sigh in a nondescript sports bar. "Stop staring at her," she says. I look at my drink. I watch [...]

• Kanye West - Dark Fantasy » 01 - Dark Fantasy.mp3

Phil Selway - By Some Miracle Phil Selway, Radiohead's drummer, is whispering, hushed and lush, about secrets. Here are some of mine: - I last shit my pants aged 23. - I once handed the majority of my savings in the form of a wad of cash to a teenage boy in Myanmar. - I'm not sure love is a necessary ingredient of a successful marriage. - I once went four months without masturbating. - I think I believe in a god. - I would like to spend a [...]

• Philip Selway - By Some Miracle

Well, fellow babies, it's been a while since I have pleasured myself (and hopefully you) with some Haiku. Have at it. Fox News Hello Teabaggers Politics Now, But in porn Means balls on the chin US Magazine Stars, they're just like us They eat! And throw out their trash! Except they have jobs Ambien A magic white pill Ate one and went for a drive Oops, I wrecked my car [...]

According to a recent survey of 4634 of male drivers under the age of 30, 11% admit to "fondling" themselves while driving. Fondling is always a really creepy word in my book, as it certainly always evokes that scene in a movie where the Psychologist places the "doll" in front of the little kid and asks, "where did that strange man in the park fondle you?" Personally, I think the car is the last place I'd like to get "reacquainted" with myself. There's absolutely no privacy, not to mention people in Los Angeles all gawk at [...]

Filed under: News , Exclusive , Holy Hell Three years after a Violent Femmes ' song was used to advertise a fast food joint, bassist Brian Ritchie still has a bad taste in his mouth. In fact, he's so soured by the incident, a Femmes reunion appears unlikely for the foreseeable future. "I don't like having my sound misappropriated to sell harmful products, such as fast food," he tells Spinner. "That's not why we made the music. It should not be hijacked. " Ritchie [...]

Posted in Chuckle, Clip, Eurobeat, sexy Tagged: belgium, dick, funny, masturbation, new, penis, teletubbies, video

Here are the opportunities you're forced to consider when you're a "celebrity," but don't have any discernible talents like acting/singing. In the case of Levi Johnston, the perpetual thorn in Sarah Palin's "Going Rogue" ship, he has been offered 100k to spank it "to completion." Napoleon Dynamite said, "girls only like guys with skills." Here's one feather in your cap that isn't going to get you laid. Being the solo whanker is like playing single A baseball. It's never a good look when you're hoping to move up to the world of "salad tossing." [...]

I barely made it past the headline. I was too busy giggling and repeatedly saying "Wow! A workshop on choking the chicken. I wonder who signs up to teach that? Paul Reubens?" Obviously, this is one workshop where the boys did not have to attend, as they are all seasoned vets. The title of the article speaks volumes but just to pull a few quotes. And then there is the campaign's name. Intended to encourage young people to be in control of their sexuality, it instead suggested a more, [...]

Making love in your brain is a very delicate act that can easily be thrown into the toilet. Here's 10 big nonos digital ladies of the evening perpetrate on a daily (daily? millisecondy, it's the Internet) basis.

Posted in D Is For Design, Queen Of The Night, sexy, Tech Techa Tagged: beating, cups, jack, male, masturbation, new, off, tango, tenga

Gary Kirsten, the coach of India's cricket team, has some advice for his players: Have sex before matches, boys. And if no partner is available, then "go solo." It says so, right in the team's training manual leaked to Indian media. I can dig it. Going solo is always a good idea, except when you're on a city bus. That's a lewd act, brotha. FULL ARTICLE Related posts: When Life Imitates Fight Club [...]

Let's hope Feargal Sharkey never goes on Would I Lie To You, as it appears he thinks it's some sort of revelation that Teenage Kicks is about wanking . He also thinks that it was his Greatest Hit, despite having peaked at 31; even It's Going To Happen managed better than that. [Story stolen from @sweepingnation ]

Brian "Head" Welch, the former KoRn guitarist doesn't play with Spanky and Alfalfa, and he thinks Jesus is happy with him. "The Jesus tattoo on my hand keeps me from masturbating and I haven't been with a woman since my ex-wife left me almost five years ago. I go to those extremes to be like Christ and it works for me." I wonder if Jeebus approves of men wearing eyeliner and dressing like jerkoffs. No related posts.

Mia "Mmm" Michelle 10 Things Jay-Z Has That You Don't [Broken Cool] 6 Kids You Grew Up With [CH] Reasons Why Many Politicians End Up In Sex Scandals [LTL] Annie Thao Could Get It [HMJ] The Masturbation Double Standard [Cracked] Mannie Fresh Launches New Label, Signs Distribution Deal [AHH] Man Gets Buried in His Beloved Pontiac [Black Voices] Dizzee Rascal Tongue [...]

Now that we got the serious out of the way . Why the hell not? The Onion has a pretty hilarious look at Americans not masturbating in memory of 9/11.

The more @solangeknowles Tweets, the more I find myself warming to her: Whenever I get handed a plane blanket I have these creepy images of some weird guy jacking off underneath one, or a slobbering old man. Eek.