Ella Fitzgerald : Santa Claus Got Stuck in My Chimney [ purchase ] All week long, the picture above has been sitting on the sidebar, and you probably never suspected that anyone had a song for it. In fact, not just anyone, but the great Ella Fitzgerald herself. The song had acquired legendary status at one time. Fitzgerald sings it with the innocence of a child, but someone in record company land had a filthy mind, and decided the song was too risqué to release. In fact, it only came out [...]
Paul Kelly : How to Make Gravy [purchase] While this song isn't necessarily "offbeat," it's one that you won't normally hear during the North American version of holidays. Paul Kelly is an Australian singer/songwriter who I think is massively underrated in the northern hemisphere. In this song the narrator, Joe, is in prison, and is making a phone call to his friend Dan. Joe is genuinely regretting and lamenting whatever he did to get himself in trouble, and is asking Dan to kiss his kids on Christmas, [...]
Wing : Santa in a Helicopter [ purchase ] I wasn't going to post another song this week, but I accidently scrolled through this section of my database and…well… I learned about Wing from popdose.com a few years ago. Wikipedia tells us "Wing is a New Zealand singer of Hong Kong origin. She is known for her unique, offbeat singing style." See? Fits the theme! Wing has released 19 albums to date. After listening to this sample, you too will find this fact [...]
DBSK : Silent Night [ purchase ] B'z : Itsuka No Merry Christmas [ purchase ] GLAY : Karera no HOLY X'MAS [ purchase ] Kiyoharu : Christmas [ purchase ] Tell me you're surprised that I'm posting J-Rock Christmas songs. I've got lo-o-o-ots! Clearly, being a Buddhist/Shinto nation [...]
The Hives and Cyndi Lauper: A Christmas Duel [ purchase ] Yes, the 2008 release date makes this post a rule-breaker. But it was a single, and too explicit to play on the radio; it got no reception whatsoever, as far as I can tell, and thus, it meets the general spirit of obscurity here - i.e., most folks have never heard it. As such, in the spirit of the season, and of punk in general, I'm sharing anyway, just this once. And you just [...]
Far (feat. Chino Moreno) : Feed the World (Do They Know It‘s Christmas Time?) [ purchase ] Though significantly less grandiose than the execution and process of the original, charity is still charity, no matter how brief a studio session may accompany it. The early aughts saw an explosion of trans-genre and cover albums in the worlds of punk, metal, alternative, emo, and pop, and one recurring instance of that was the holiday album. In 2003, Immortal records released A Santa Cause: It’s a Punk Rock Christmas , on which [...]
Elton John : Merry Christmas, Maggie Thatcher [ purchase ] Here's a no-brainer for Songs Banned At The Mall, because we all know that politics is the third rail when it comes to Christmas themes. And this song's particularly nasty at that—nasty for a reason, though. It's from Billy Elliott, the Musical , sung by the striking British union miners, and you can read the historical details in relationship to the play in this (non-Wikipedia!) article. Thatcher, the Conservative Party prime minister at the time, [...]
Paul Revere & The Raiders: Macy's Window [ purchase ] The Ventures: Sleigh Ride [ purchase ] Two Northwest rock'n'roll legends leave their mark on the holiday season. The Raiders' cut comes from one of the most bizarre Christmas albums of all time, 1967's A Christmas Present...And Past. While the kids are enchanted by the window decorations, Dad is getting hot and bothered by the elves in mini-skirts. [...]
Brigid Kaelin : Blue Dreidel No 9 [ purchase ] I hope everyone has been enjoying our sideways glance at Christmas this week, and I know that I am looking forward to seeing what happens next. But I do want to take a moment to recognize another winter holiday: Hanukkah. Rather than travel to the Middle East, however, let’s journey to the American southwest. Get ready to kick up your kosher cowboy boots to the tune of Blue Dreidel No 9.
Camera Obscura : The Blizzard [ purchase ] Raveonettes : The Christmas Song [ purchase ] One of my longest playlists is my Christmas list. If it's a Christmas song, I want it. I don't care if it's good, bad or someplace in between. I simply enjoy the music of the season. I don't remember hearing either of these two in a mall but I did learn of them both on TV in commercials so if [...]
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Run D.M.C. : Christmas in Hollis [ purchase ] Sometimes it's hard to predict what malls will or will not play at this time of year. I know I've heard some musical detritus that I thought was utterly devoid of redeeming value (carol porn?). In fact, I finally had to shift my dental cleanings from December to January just to avoid yet another listening of Burl Ives' Holly Jolly Christmas , and I'd rather have that drill cranked up to drown out Elvis's Blue Christmas . [...]
Jonathan Coulton : Chiron Beta Prime [ purchase ] Every year at this time, my blood sugar soars as I am subjected, er treated, to the holiday music of the mall. So, I have built up a collection of what I call my antidotes. These are holiday songs with a twist. Jonathan Coulton provides a perfect example with Chiron Beta Prime. Maybe you have a friend who sends out an annual holiday letter, updating you about what he and his family have been doing over the course of the last year. [...]
Star Maker Machine
Cher’s “Woman’s World” is Now on iTunes, Finally
Escucha el ruidoso regreso de M.I.A.
Thump presents Up Next w/ Zedd, Duke Dumont & TOKiMONSTA @ Pier 84 6.20
Deer Tick – “The Rock”
