Tagged: postdignityera

The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty -a six-episode series that will chronicle the efforts of Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon, and Randy to embark on a reunion tour, which was shelved by producers but revived after the June death of their brother Michael-will debut on A & E on Dec. 13. Because what better way to gear up for the holidays than to watch the adventures of a dysfunctional family trying to get its livelihoods back, right? Sigh. [ AP ]

Last night's star turn by Paula Abdul as the host of Vh1 Divas was full of bad references to Abdul's recent American Idol past, including an extended turn in which Abdul donned a blond wig and used her dancing skills to mock the way her Idol replacement Ellen DeGeneres enters on her talk show... only to take back any parodic intent almost immediately after the lengthy aisle-dancing segment was finished. Oy. Clip after the jump. Before that came the opening medley, in which [...]

Alternate Ghostbusters II -inspired titles for a post about deposed New Jack King Bobby Brown allegedly joining the cast of the upcoming season of Celebrity Fit Club , so I can soothe the pain of a TMZ-sourced "news" item with the fierceness of that movie's signature song "On Our Own": "Bobby Brown Decides He's Too Fat To Handle, Too Cold To Hold"; "Bobby Brown Joins The Weightbusters"; "Bobby Brown Sad To Find Out That Cake, Despite Being Delicious, Is Almost As Evil As Vigo"; "Bobby Brown Tries To Battle The Bulge (It's Not Legal)." (There were also a [...]

The highest bid for the commemorative booklet sold in conjunction with Michael Jackson's just-completed memorial service as of this writing: $290 . Note to self: Putting "GOLD!!" in the header of future quick-cash-in auction listings will vault you right to the head of the auction pack in those first heady moments. jackson memorial program [eBay; HT Christopher R. Weingarten]

TMZ is saying that the purported Michael Jackson autopsy results breathlessly revealed by the UK tabloid The Sun today are fake. Or, to be more specific, they're "fabricated and completely false." Yep, that's where we are right now: A leak slapfight between TMZ vs. British papers that feature boobs on page three. The aftermath of Jackson's death is going to open up a new, unbelievably gross chapter in the tabloid wars, isn't it? [ TMZ ]

What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is this? Jeff Archuleta, the father of 2008 American Idol runner-up David, has been named in a police raid of a "massage parlor" in Utah ( Utah! ) that was apparently offering happy endings to its clients. The Queens Of Reiki parlor was apparently employing women who operated in a pants-optional manner, and that made neighbors suspicious: In an exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com, Detective Sgt. John Salazar of the Midvale Police Department explained that the investigation began with a call from a concerned citizen. A doctor [...]

It's time for another round of "What endorsement is more damaging to the already somewhat tarnished image of an aging rocker!" Your candidates today: The fake microblogs from Ozzy Osbourne that allege that dude still wears leather pants and the Gene Simmons urinal cakes ! I'm going to cast my vote for the former, if only because the doddering image presented in the TV ads would lead one to believe that he'd actually wind up confusing the Samsung Jack with his son of the same name . Perhaps that [...]

Above, Phil Spector bears an eerie resemblance to another rock legend in his booking photo taken at a California prison last week. It's a testament to whoever was impersonating the disgraced record producer on Twitter that he at least got the bit about his wigs being confiscated by The Man right. [ The Smoking Gun ]

From the Dept. Of Oh, This Is Just Sad On About Ten Different Levels: "... the duo reportedly spent time in a bathroom stall, but a source close to Sov confirms to SPIN.com that actual galpal lip-locking went down. '[Lady Sov] said Katy was a good kisser,' our source relates." Hey Sugababes : This is a cautionary tale. Just saying. [ Spin ]

Former American Idol contestant Sanjaya Malakar-the ponyhawked crooner who is probably one of the reasons that Simon Cowell is looking to abandon the States at the end of this season -will be returning to prime-time TV this summer, when he appears on the "celebrities trapped in the jungle" show I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! MTV-spawned Barbie impersonator Heidi Montag will apparently be a member of the cast as well, thus opening the door for the two aspiring "singers" to get their duet on. Sadly (?) former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich [...]

Britney Spears ' wardrobe assistant will likely get a stern talking-to after the pop tartlet's Tampa show, in which a performance of "I'm A Slave 4 U" resulted in her complaining about her "pussy hanging out" during the post-song wardrobe change. Of course, this being Britney and the current era being in its current panoptic state, she was on-mic and someone captured the whole thing via crappy cell phone camera. (See? There's a reason she lipsyncs all show.) Clip after the jump. [ Britney - [...]

Or is he just trying to one-up Erykah Badu and Jay Electronica's live-tweeting of their baby's birth with something that news-starved entertainment reporters wouldn't be able to tear their eyes from—especially since it involves the mini-blogging platform that's all the navelgazy rage right now ? (Note that the entry immediately preceding the beginning of the sex session refers to him stealing a car.) Either way, well-played, I guess. [ Twitter ]

The Los Angeles Police Department is launching an investigation into who leaked a photo of Rihanna taken after her domestic-violence incident with Chris Brown . (Which we are not posting because it can be found pretty easily, and it's quite horrifying on multiple levels, although that fact no doubt caused the head of the gossip site that leaked the photo in the first place to add a little bit of jizz to his ever-present Starbucks cup.) "The Department launched an immediate internal investigation and subsequently filed a personnel complaint," the LAPD said in a statement. "A violation of this [...]

Because being a dot-com entrepreneur/Cash4Gold shillman doesn't pay the bills: "A&E Network today announced a new original series, Hammertime , following the life of rapper and dancer MC Hammer , his wife of more than 23 years and their family of seven." The press release doesn't mention if the show has an animated component, which is a shame, because watching Hammer and Hammerman recap the hip-pop star's life and times would at least be worth tuning in for once. [ A & E ]

Talk about creative editing: The official bio for the pottymouthed MC on ABC's minisite devoted to its celebrity dance-off competition—which begins its latest season on March 9—does mention that she's a "fashion icon," but does not mention how she pioneered the art of engineering one's own wardrobe malfunction way before Janet Jackson ever did. Maybe they're saving that shocking revelation for a sweeps period? [ ABC ]

The glittery glove Michael Jackson wore in the "Billie Jean" video is one of 2,000 items belonging to Michael Jackson that will be auctioned off next spring . Also for sale: the gates to Jackson's former estate Neverland! An array of treasures from Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch ranging from Michael Jackson's iconic white-jeweled glove to the grandiose entry gates to Neverland Ranch are up for sale in a tour de force auction boasting more than 2,000 items in [...]