
Ahhh.. the 1980s. I was still rocking fraggle rock under-roos (no homo) back then, but my aunts and uncles were choking back rails of that old Tony Montana to the sweet sounds of the great moogly Moog. Time may have turned a blind eye to this short-lived period in music. To many, the only thing great about these gems is the self-enjoyment of seething irony that ruminates the core of one's retro fueled, Vice Magazine reading, hipster mind. Yes, to many, the synth is nothing more than ironic throwback elevator music. To the JumpTheTurnstyle faithful, [...]
The Human League, Belinda Carlisle (of The Go-Gos), ABC, A Flock of Seagulls and Naked Eyes are bringing back the 80s for a massive tour this summer with the Regeneration Tour, and it's coming to Cincinnati. This, my friends, is a nearby tour worth making the drive for. Tickets are probably going to be in [...]
Wait, there's a war going on in Iraq? I was too busy watching Bill O'Reilly discuss the cultural significance of "Firecrotch." This a brave new age of journalism, brothers and sisters! Deboned, defanged, and with record levels of cross-promotion! Why not segue from a report on new prosthetics for war amputees, complete with footage of the new Bionic Woman series, to a Big Pharma-sponsored health report on the dangers of EEBPS -- Excessive Eye Booger Production Syndrome -- and how you can ask your doctor about Sleepiseedimox to cure it? (Side effects may include diarrhea, eye rot, or [...]